I never thought this would be an issue, but it is. What do I do about my last name when Tim and I get married. I have the following options:
1. Take his last name and ditch mine or add it as a middle name.
2. Hyphenate our last names.
3. Make a new name from our 2 last names.
4. Create an entirely new name.
All of these come with their pros and cons. First of all, since we both have children from previous marriages, there is the issue of their last names not matching our last names. His children have 2 different last names (Peterson & Peterson-Goad), whereas my 2 have my ex-husband's last name. Utilizing any of the choices above means my children will not have my last name at all (which they don't now anyway), but doing 3 or 4 means his kids will not have his last name (which one doesn't already). How do we come up with a decision that makes us a family? I would really appreciate suggestions in the comments section as to how to handle this situation. Apparently being part of a modern family means not having any rules to follow....this can be a good thing and a bad thing all at the same time.
there's also not changing your name at all. but of the choices, i like 3 and 4 the best. you could go with something awesome like "Mr. and Mrs. Fantasticon" or something boring like McGoad, which sounds like a euphemism for the taint.
ReplyDeleteI haven't changed my name and neither has Mark (even though we could make the awesome sounding name "Baymac") and our kid has both of our names with no hyphen
We tried to combine our names, but couldn't agree on a combo of Heath and Winchenbach -- Heathenbach, Winchenheath, etc. So we picked a totally new name - Walden as a tribute to Thoreau. But that was pre-kids so we would all have the same name. I see the dilemma with step-kids involved and I'm not sure what to do! You could conceivably change their names too, but not sure the exs would agree.
ReplyDeleteBethany: I was going to keep my last name for ease and convenience, but I know that it is a sore spot with Tim. His ex-wife did not take his last name, informing him that if the marriage didn't last it would be easier for him. I don't want him to think that I'm not taking his name because I don't think we'll last....Honestly, he's stuck with me to the end of time whether he likes it or not! I also thought of combining our last names, but sadly ours would not be anywhere near as cool as Baymac....Gricker. Or Road. Or Rickoad. Or even Goarick. Nope, not sounding so great.
ReplyDeleteAmanda - you are actually what inspired us to take a whole new last name, but with the kids, I think it has logistical issues. And I know for a fact our exes would not be open to renaming our kids with our awesome choice of Luhfmacher.
(giggle) you are so cute :D Ok, here goes. I'm a Newman. 1 sister is a House, 2 are DeLormes. The 2 DeLormes are because that is my mother's maiden name and she weren't married to their fathers. She was married to mine and my youngest sister's daddies (you following so far?). My step-sister is a Smith; and hell, my dad and her mom haven't been married since I was in early college. And guess what? WE'RE STILL FAMILY.
ReplyDeleteNames don't mean shit. Really. They're tags at the end of that thing people call you (or yell at you, and if there's 2 or 3 things. . . you're probably in trouble). A rose by any other. . well, you get it. Your kids know they are YOURS, and each others. They know the ties and how everyone is related.
Now then, find something awesome to call yourselves and who knows, maybe the kids will want to follow suit when they're good and ready. hell. . . pick something cool enough and *I* might follow suit :D Although, I love the ring of "Winchenbach" (LOL) oh, and btw- Rickoad sounds too much like Rick-Roll. don't do that. . . ;)